Killing English - Funny English

1 of my favourite jokes, I couldn't resist myself from posting it.


Killing English

1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U
Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ? "

2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The
Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going
Out Of The World To America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY
BACK.."

5. Don't..Laugh At The Back
Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be
Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch
The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.
And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not
Oning" (Ing Form Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write
Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is
Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am
Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us...
"My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially
Mother And Father

14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend
Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep
Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly
I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit
Outside, The Understand

CID In 3 Idiots

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

ACP: Ohh MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !

(Shaking his finger)
(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student NE aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. Lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!
ACP: OHH MY GODD !!! ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic lab me leke aao...Dr. Salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss murde aadmi se !!

(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum Dr. Salunkhe ke lab se khali haat nahi jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega

(after playin with some colour changing liquids)

Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta